Update

This post isn't one of my normal observations. For this one, I wanted to talk about an experience that happened this week that had a profound effect on my life. On Wednesday, I was a contestant for a male beauty pageant, ZTA's Big Man on Campus. I decided to do some standup for my talents, and I was super nervous before the show. Normally, I can handle being in front of a crowd and being the center of attention. However, this was different. I was afraid that I would forget my set list and that I would get heckled.

I practiced and practiced because of these fears, and I got up on the stage and performed it perfectly. Everybody loved it. The moral of this story is that I feel like another chapter has started writing itself in my life. Before the pageant, my friends and acquaintances would tell me I should do standup comedy, but I always doubted myself. Now that I've done it, and was met with success, I think I'll try to write my own stuff and perform it on the side. Maybe I'll be successful; maybe I won't. But, there's no telling where it may lead me.

Moving Like Moses

You've all been there. You are walking along an aisle at a a grocery store or through a hallway with a purpose, and someone walks out in front of you. That wouldn't be a bad thing, normally. But, this person who has cut you off walks at the speed of smell, and now you have to slow your steps so that it looks like you are in slowmo.

I think that this is one of the most awkward situations to be in. You don't want to be rude and just blow by them--mostly because you don't have enough room on either side of them to do this; therefore, you try to make it look normal and casual by looking around or pulling out your phone, not to text or call but to stare at the blank screen. It's one of the most used techniques for this kind of situation.

Because of the above situation, I am backing a bill that is in congress right now that will require supermarkets, grocery stores, retail shops, etc. to have a minimum speed limit posted throughout their stores. Think about all the awkward situations and wasted time that will be avoided if this passes...but really, don't slow everyone else up in an aisle or hallway; it's a douche move.

A License to be a Tool

Vanity license plates have been around for a while, and they are becoming more and more popular. I mean, why wouldn't you want to pay a shload of money to define yourself to other drivers in the seven characters on the back or front of your car? Vanity license plates are just like having a Myspace these days; you think you're cool for having one, but, in reality, you are just a tool.

I was walking to my car in a parking garage the other day and noticed a car tag that said "BAD 81." I immediately thought that the driver was a geriatric with a bad attitude. He is just trying to warn the other drivers about how bad he is and that he will rough them up with the sharpened sticks that are on his walker. So if you are thinking of purchasing a vanity license plate, don't be "that guy," or, better yet, don't get one at all. No one likes a tool, except maybe a carpenter or a mechanic.